Pilates

Well, still no baby news, so I will write about other facets of my life that are exhilarating and exciting.

I have been teaching Pilates now for about two years. I started taking Pilates in NJ, and I think at the time it was more of a Classical approach. When we moved South, I was looking for something to challenge me, since with my background and being very physical, I have to be challenged or I get bored. I looked for a studio, and found a small one only a few minutes away from my home.

I started taking classes and was hooked. The approach they used was Contemporary, and it was something different every day. It wasn't long before I was looking into their internship program. I jumped in and started interning, and doing self study and working out, trying to complete the requisite hours needed to teach. After about seven months, I had finished and began teaching.

It was a thrill to be in front of a class leading them, encouraging them, pushing them. I likened it to the training I had done years ago in the gym, except that was one on one, where this was more of a group setting.
After a while, things happened here and there, which put some distance between me and the owner and after two years there, in October I chose to leave.

True we did have a lot going on, but that is not why I left. Suffice it to say, that sometimes you think you know someone, and then you find out that you never really knew them at all.

I happened to be driving past another studio close by and stopped, asking if they were looking for help. She was, and after a couple of observation hours and a short audition class, I was in.

I have to say this is daunting to me, for one reason only. She is so much better than the owner of the other studio. She is so good, it is freaky. I have watched many classes over the last few months. She kicks ass every time. She uses all her equipment and encourages use of Bosu, Foam Roller, small props..so it is a more well rounded class. Period.

I took my PMA Exam about three weeks ago and passed. Whooohooo! http://pilatesmethodalliance.com/

Next up for me is more training in Miami, in the Spring. I am seeking out her previous teacher, because I want to learn all I can, thus making me a more valuable teacher.

Wish me Luck

Some Sad News

I was a competitive bodybuilder for many years, starting in 1978 and competing in my first contest in 1981. In my travels I had met many wonderful people associated with the sport, and some not so nice. I even went on to write for FLEX Magazine for a while under the tutelage of Bill Reynolds, who passed away in the early 1990's. It is not something i talk of often, because really what's to say? I trained my ass off and dieted for many many years. (Which is probably why now I have no interest in either thing that much!)

Kenny Kassel (above)passed this past week, at his home in NJ, and while I hadn't talked with him in years he will always be remembered fondly. He was a great ambassador of the sport, and for years did promotional work, eventually sending me out to NY on some gigs for modeling. I wasn't really into it, after having competed for so many years, and eventually dropped out of that world all together.

I don't recall missing the bodybuilding world all that much. But I will miss the thought of Kenny. What is ironic is just this past week, I was searching for him on Facebook, hoping to reconnect with him. So sad for me that I will never get to tell him, what a difference he made in my life.

Kenny, if you are up there...Thanks and I'll miss you!"

Another bodybuilding friend, Steve Stone (picture on right) also died this year. I had no idea, until I had read a blurb in a magazine, prompting me to google him on the Internet. I met Steve while working for Flex and did a two page story on him for the magazine. He was likable and friendly and although we lost contact, he is another person from my old days of bodybuilding, who will be sorely missed.

Funny Funny Funny

After rifling though a box of some of my old papers, I came across some notes I had written my mother, about 40 years ago. I routinely sent her mail, (most of it hate mail). After being punished (and not allowed to come downstairs) I would sit on the top step of the forbidden staircase and airplane it down to her. Folded with care and craftsmanship, into a miniature craft looping and twirling its way through the jungles of furniture and folded clothes, hopefully landing in a spot that it would be easily seen.

I never realized that she saved them, but reading them now, they provide enlightenment and entertainment...and it doesn't hurt that they are funny.

One such note goes like this:

In pencil on slightly faded lined paper:

Dear Mom,

( the first line is scratched out, and then I begin again on the second line: Spelling is exact -

every thing I try to do you always blam it on me. how do you know I do it mabye tracy did it

Your frind

Lisa

(Tracy is my sister)

There are others, many others actually. Depending on the punishment the notes were benign to very angry. When I was angry? The name I signed on the note went from "Your frind" to the Green Fanthom. Clearly, I was trying to scare my own mother. But alas the joke was on me!
The Good German could scare the crap out of anyone, even my father, which may have had something to do with why he eventually left.

Yesterday I took the note, and bought a bold, black, frame and now it sits on a table in my hallway.

The version I write about is mild, compared to the rest..." You hate me and like tracy better" was a common theme, and I complained a lot about not getting to wear a pretty pink party dress, (not to a party but out to play) I used the word hate a lot, and even then told it like it was.

Some things never change.

Shower me with Praise, or whatever...

For those of you requesting an email address for me...for I don't know...maybe to shower me with bits of love and praise it is Fizikal599@cs.com. Really I am putting it out there, because to be serious I get more spam than anyone I know. And frankly I'm a little tired of opening my email, only to find ads for nutritional supplements, penile enlargement ,Viagra and someone writing to me claiming to be a long lost relative with lotereee winnings (their spelling, not mine)... So, I'd be more than happy to read anything from complete strangers (except for topics mentioned above.) I am now more than adequately versed on the aformentioned topics.

Speaking of topics...I dragged a new game to my mother in laws for Christmas called Table Topics.

I wish I had thought of it. It is a cube filled with questions, that you sit and ask one another, after a meal (and lots of wine) Trust me when I say the answers get more interesting after a little inebriation! Except for my answers. If anything, unless I really don't want to hurt you, I will tell you EXACTLY how I feel/ ALL the time..there is no guessing, ever! They have many different versions...and while some of the questions were a bit serious, most encouraged conversation, which is a whole lot better than sitting and staring at one another.


Onward:
Seven Pounds Review...

Well after much anticipation, we went to see Seven Pounds last night. Given that we are already fighting a mild case of depression (it's any ones guess why my husband continues to choose these types of movies) I was voting for Yes Man with Jim Carey but lost out.

Honestly? I did not like it, although I'm sure my husbands review was much different. I heard him tell someone over the phone that it was excellent. Well, for me not so much. I found it sad, and although it did have some excellent points, it was too much of a downer for me. That is all I will say without spoiling it for those of you who still want to see it.

The only other thing I will say is If you still text while you drive you are an idiot. See the movie. You will understand.

Operation Crumb Cake and thinking of good things..

Well, holiday season is NOT my favorite. And I suppose it is compounded by the fact that having no kids, makes you that much aware of what you are missing.

But given the state of things in the world, we could be in a worse position. So I am thankful.

And I blog so I don't technically need therapy...

My first sale of crumb cake ( the whole thing) came today, and it was pure pleasure to get the thing ready. It does look good, even if I do say so myself!

I have an account starting after the first of the year and some more accounts I want to go to, but with the holidays I figured I'd wait until people weren't so stressed, so I'll give them a few days. I'll plan my attack for the beginning of next week, and already have five places mapped out to go to.

My excitement level rivals that of the day we found out we were matched with a baby (only without the crash and burn afterward)

With this new match, I have not heard much. I am waiting on social and medical paperwork from the lawyer, and hopefully this young girl is more stable. Hopefully, she can do what best for the baby. Hopefully she doesn't want much more than placing the baby. Where's Juno when you need her anyway?

A fellow blogger said it best. I can't punish her, for what has happened before. We will hopefully let her see the "real us". In the beginning it was easy..we are a funny, likable couple and well, most times come off as such.

But after two heartbreaking incidents, while we are still funny...it is now more intermittent. No more free flowing funniness here. Although, my husband still comes up with some doozies. I have to work a little harder...And I have some friends who make me laugh out loud ( which really if you wanna be my friend that is a pre requisite. ) I gotta be honest though, there is something so NOT funny about losing a ton of money trying to have a baby.

So after being extorted time and time again, you start to see the unfunny, and dare I say we got a little serious. Nothin worse if you ask me. I always try and find the humor!
Of course you don't want to be overly funny when meeting a birth mom for the first time, because then you can kind of come off as slightly maniacal and that can kind of be scary.
(see any earlier posts of my husband doing his shtick or his tap dancing routine for explanation)

Now that is scary.

Orders for
CRUMBS- Crumbcake- 561-389-7348

The Beginning of Something Sweet!

Yesterday, I took samples of my crumb cake to a few spots in the area, I deemed worthy.

I didn't really think about what I was going to say..I just ad-libbed and low and behold, I got my first order, scheduled for after the 1st of the year. I am excited that this endeavor may be my greatest yet.

I am in the middle of so much, but I am making time to trademark and copyright certain things for the cake and I am working on the branding. I know what I want it to look like, but it is trying to convey it to get to the final product , that is the hard part.

Today, I got my second order, and in the midst of all the baby sadness and heartache this little project, is keeping my head above water.

BABY UPDATE:

We did get a call from our lawyer, who said she was presenting us to another birth mom. Excuse me here, If I don't get all excited.

She then called us back later that evening to tell us that we have been selected, by the birth mom. The baby is due in June. I feel nothing.
And since the baby is due in June I am sure there will be expenses that go along with all of this. We still have not gotten money back from the crazy girl from the second match, and to be honest, Ive grown attached to my money. I don't feel like parting with it, even if she needs help? I really don't care right now.

I can't.

We are due for a meeting. I am trying hard to keep my feelings in check, and to realize she is not the same girl. I can't blame this new one. I just hope I can convey how much pain the other girl caused us.

I know this baby will be a boy, given the fact that I have a pink room, pink carriage and bedding and pink clothes. Right now it is too early to tell.

I am not hedging any bets. And I'm not going to be excited until I have a baby in my arms.

CRUMBS

Well, with all this time on my hands, I have decided to take my crumb cake operation city wide.

The crumb cake (sold at Big Daddy's) is a huge seller, and I would be remiss not to want to spread the love so to speak. This crumb cake is like no other. I have perfected a family recipe, and well, after many many crumb cakes later.. I believe it is just too good to not share with the masses.

I am not a crumb cake lover myself. Thankfully. Because had I been in my previous situation (see all relative baby posts) it is safe to say that I would be a member of:
Sugar Addicts, Weight Watchers, Overeaters (but not so anonymous) you get the picture.
It wouldn't be pretty ..that I know for sure.

I'd be hopped up on sugar...waiting for the crash...So thankfully crumb cake does nothing for me. To those who love it, God Bless.

Food Glorious Food

OK, since I have no baby to focus on, my thoughts and attention has most recently turned to food. Not that I don't think about it any other time, I do, but I'm thinking about it maybe more than usual. Redirecting my attention, if you will.

So I have dug out of my big ole recipe book a crab dip that is sure to please! Trust me..I made this for a baby shower once, and everyone forgot about the mother- to-be and instead they were hovered around the dip, like locusts going through a cornfield.


Crabby Baby Dip

Puree in food processor:
8 oz cream cheese softened
3/4 cup mayo
2 tablespoons minced onion
1 teaspoon drained horseradish
1 teaspoon worcestershire
1/4 tspn salt, garlic powder
One 6 oz can drained crab meat

When done, pour into bowl cover top with slivered almonds

Bake about 25 minutes
Serve with crackers (Pepperidge Farm Wheat are the best!)


Enjoy- Get in there fast...you might lose a finger or two if you try to get any when the crowds swarm.

Facebook Update & Pretty Smells

Well, in the couple days that I have been on Facebook I have reconnected with a few of my old friends. As usual, I have done the searching, and on Facebook you send a little note hoping they accept you back as a friend. What if they don't? I'm sure it happens, but could there be anything worse? "No, sorry I don't want you as a friend, never did." So far so good.

I have found:

A best friend from grade school, back in Matawan, NJ

My first bodybuilding coach...from like a million years ago. OK not a million but ..lets' do the math..OK I cheated, I used a calculator...28 years! Twenty eight freaking years ago..I was 18...

I found my nieces

And a few others who I have not written to just yet...

Onward to Pretty smells:

Smelling good is a necessity. But as I wrote yesterday....if you smell bad, everyone knows but you ....and if you use too much perfume, it's as if you are trying to hide something. perfume wearing is an art...subtlty is key... and so few people get this right...

Example: While on the treadmill at the gym, yesterday a woman came up to the the treadmill beside me and hopped on. I smelled her coming a mile away. And while it was a good smell under normal circumstances, (think nightclub or crowded restaurant) it was not good for the gym. Too overpowering. But when you couple that with the outfit she was wearing, I think we all know what signals she was sending out there. ( the see though top and erect nipples also were a dead giveaway, but back to good smell - bad smell... (this itself is a whole other entry re: working out in Palm Beach County)

She had been on the treadmill maybe five minutes...when I started to gag. The whole time I was trying to do my workout, I was smelling toxic perfume gasses, that nearly knocked me out. The smell really could have cripled an army. She was just oblivious...

So while it is good to smell nice...if people in the next county smell you, you've gone too far.

My Perfume Picks:

1. Child Perfume -(Cult fragrance I had in my little shop a few years ago)

2. Marc Jacobs

3. Victoria's Secret Heavenly

4. Juicy Couture- Viva La Juicy

5. Trish McEvoy- Blackberry & Vanilla

6. Michael Kors -Hawaii

Tomorrow it could be a whole other list.....

Josh Kilmer-Purcell's "I Am Not Myself These Days"

This book ...where do I start??I picked it up, honestly because I am sold a lot by the cover. I know that is completely lame, but it is true.
I liked the title and the colors and the little fish, and had already decided to buy it when I flipped to the back for the once over. The captions read "Heartbreaking, funny, great writing, etc.. so I was sold. Of course anyone who knows me, knows I do not like to cry reading books. I used to belong to a book club, that only chose books that made you cry, or they were so completely boring they would make you cry because you couldn't get through them. My test is simple. I read for a bit. I put the book down. If go back...that is the real test. So many times I have picked up books. Good books, heck great books, books people implore me to read. And if I don't go back after reading the first Chapter. I'm done.

I have some of these books, with half turned down page corners, still sitting on a shelf waiting for me to rescue them from the boring book graveyard. Never gonna happen my friend.

Josh's book ( he made me his friend on facebook- yeah!) is so good, it is startling. The writing is clear and dramatic ...and I'm obsessed with his style. His life...completely crazy, but in a nice boy way. He is a drag queen, and he writes from inside of his lonely, but colorful queen world, and also writes beautifully about his other life...the normal 9-5 life which he carries on, in the midst of hyper insanity. Just reading about the hours he kept made me want to take naps. It also gave me a strange craving for vodka, a drink I never drink but one that Josh used to soothe his soul, and keep him company. Hell it might have even been his best friend.

I won't tell you the ending...you have to get the book to find out. but this is one book I read cover to cover in one day, on my horrible work slave trip to St. Thomas. ( I did get breaks and read at night after we were done!)That is how much I wanted to finish it!

Check him out at:

See book cover and cutie pie picture at the top of post.

http://iamnotmyselfthesedays

Do you Smell?

Hmmm, How do I put this....

"How do you know if you smell?" And I mean "you" because hey I know I don't smell!"
I bathe and use this nifty invention that you spray or rub under the armpits, to give you a refeshed sort of odor. On top of why I know I dont smell? I use pretty perfume. I try and stay loyal, ( but this could be an entry all on it's own) to one or two, but I am a fragrance whore . I like it when someone tells me I smell yummy, so I do my best to smell yummy at all times.

Back to broaching the smelly topic with others:

"Excuse me, but you stink"...sounds a little harsh, but really how else can you tell someone to take a shower?

How do you not know you smell? If you are a particularly sweaty person, one would guess a shower or two a day would be sufficient. But some are not showering , AT ALL.

How do I know? I can smell them before they even get into the front door of my store. They look sweaty to begin with and it is the beginning of the day! If you look like you just ran a marathon, before your day gets started? Ummm, you have a problem.

Look, I'd settle if they just scrubbed down once a day. I'm not asking for miracles. Just come into work, and look clean. That is it. It is not difficult.

Also for those still sporting mustaches? There is a fine line between fashionable facial hair, and porno stashes. Know the difference. And maybe it isn't even a line...lemme think a minute....
Nope ...I really don't personally know anyone with good facial hair.

However slight it may be, once you have crossed that facial hair faux paux line into the Porno Kingdom, there is no coming back unless you make a clean break of it.

Goatees? I like them, but only on certain people. Leonardo DiCaprio can carry it off. Most others? Not so much.

In the end, facial hair...is overrated. Do yourself a favor and get rid of it. Why???

Most of your friends, are singing that "bow-chick-a-bow-wow" porno music behind your back...

Facetime on Facebook

I have recently been trying to set up and go about putting myself on Facebook..although I don't know why, really, since I always see to be looking for people from my past, and clearly no one is looking back for me. Oh well.
Like Charlotte Jorg, (she lived across the street from us in Matawan, NJ ) and when we left I only saw her one other time at Hoffman's Ice Cream, in Spring Lake.
Or Spencer Emerson, my first boyfriend, who in the fifth grade took me (on bicycles) to Friendly's for an ice cream cone. He was from Trinidad, a lovely boy with caramel colored skin, and I just wonder "Where did he go?"
Or Pascal Munz..she went to school with me also in Matawan...I don't remember the grade..but I remember her distinctly. I even remember what people were wearing when I first met them. Creepy I know..but some of my memory is so good, I can't help it.
Like Kathy Kegelman, in the sixth grade standing on a hill, wearing a Holly Hobbie Dress, and she had her long golden hair partially pinned up on her head. We became good friends, until years later when she started hanging around a more unsavory crowd.
I can remember all that, but can't remember where I parked the car at the mall.

I hear Alzheimer's calling my name...