tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1042652338098132222024-03-12T21:22:47.006-04:00Still Sitting, Waiting, Wishing...Our journey on the long and complicated road from Infertility to Surrogacy to Adoption. What comes next is anyone's guess...Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07146509627016621971noreply@blogger.comBlogger153125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-104265233809813222.post-6399254524434339282011-08-30T20:35:00.002-04:002011-08-30T20:43:13.007-04:00HmmmmI've decided to resurrect this blog and I begin today.
<br />I'd lime to say that with my absence things have changed but they have not. The adoption world is still an abyss of deceit, but I will save that for another time.
<br />We did adopt a baby 27 months ago and wow have things changed. Our hearts are full and happy, and he brings light and love to us ever day getting us through some very dark times
<br />He is talking and in school and learning new things ever day. I marvel at how smart he is and how lucky we got on that fateful day when we got that phone call.
<br />Since then we have been matched three other times, and not gotten a baby.
<br />So I have to believe that if it is meant to be it will happen.
<br />
<br />
<br />In other news we getting ready to move, and I'm ready to start a new chapter.
<br />Stay tuned.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07146509627016621971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-104265233809813222.post-53735886925577091622011-05-25T17:08:00.003-04:002011-05-25T19:04:46.994-04:00Where did the time go?Its been way too long and there is a definite reason for my resurrection to this blog. I find myself very frustrated. My hopes were that in two years the adoption process would have somehow gotten easier. <br />Untrue. <br />Lies, deception, more lies...<br />The deep dark story will be revealed here.. Stay tuned.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07146509627016621971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-104265233809813222.post-88699250155619803222009-10-15T18:25:00.002-04:002009-10-15T18:26:36.664-04:00Big Boy<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN643_kymmbACr4h0bid9JGuBQm688H7e4WhSJP4zB93DS0oaTkP4RANPEbVxEdjj6f4ur47uVCBmlO9rZkf_85G3GFR7vxdTaTVdHDBHjiViaUjGRokmb64rl6St5QpXnTNJ4AMnwrNc/s1600-h/chase+big+boy.bmp"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN643_kymmbACr4h0bid9JGuBQm688H7e4WhSJP4zB93DS0oaTkP4RANPEbVxEdjj6f4ur47uVCBmlO9rZkf_85G3GFR7vxdTaTVdHDBHjiViaUjGRokmb64rl6St5QpXnTNJ4AMnwrNc/s400/chase+big+boy.bmp" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5392956743824653698" /></a>Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07146509627016621971noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-104265233809813222.post-49939284598924953032009-10-15T17:45:00.003-04:002009-10-15T18:18:03.440-04:00Five MonthsHere we are at a little past the five month mark. It has been a couple of months since I have posted...but given that I am working a lot to promote Crumbylove and teaching and taking care of the baby, I find little time left. I do facebook a little, just to keep up with everyone else. <br />Chase is big and is starting to talk a little. He weighs about 20 pounds and just keeps getting bigger. <br />We have gotten him out of his swing which he loves, into a jumper and he like sit, but we are careful not to overdue it for him. We are working on his tummy time and getting him to sit up...all milestones that I hope he continues t progress towards. He is a happy laid back baby...and is eating 2x a day plus his bottles. He loves to eat!<br />It is fun to watch him, and we are amazed with every new thing he does. <br /><br />I start a new job at the beginning of November and I am thankful that I was chosen. It is an exclusive club and the members expect a lot in the way of attention and customer service, and I hope to be able to provide them with that, plus do a good job teaching. I started a new certification process for a stretching program, called Ki-Hara. They are based here in Florida and have been stretching Dara Torres (the very successful Olympic swimmer) and it is something different...It is stretching with applied resistance, and it is very challenging and exciting. I have taken Level One and hope to get through all five levels! It will take me some time, and I am thankful that my husband is such a big help with Chase. He adores him, and loves to spend time with him. So on those weekend's when I have class, he steps up!<br /><br />The economy is tanking and for the first time, I am actually scared. Scared for everyone. We are definitely being more careful about what we spend, where we go, and will continue to do so. With diapers and formula I am getting coupons, and well, every little bit helps. <br /><br />Ii am hopeful that the economy and everyone in it turns the corner soon. It would make for a great 2010, and if unemployment started to drop and people had more confidence. Lets all collectively keep our fingers crossed.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07146509627016621971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-104265233809813222.post-9675742817511967632009-08-12T14:36:00.000-04:002009-08-12T14:42:11.384-04:00BIG BOY<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeqRro8AJg36BxJtPel71kYECuMPWSvciCA1T3B8OT8CptcgEi0sMGxsXNGZQVwwslEO6RJtttQU1wJ0guIubMWxvLZinvizRkx-aHdFIlWfWJEkoQW8Nqwl7E89nMknQSzyIyHKCYH7s/s1600-h/baby+028.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeqRro8AJg36BxJtPel71kYECuMPWSvciCA1T3B8OT8CptcgEi0sMGxsXNGZQVwwslEO6RJtttQU1wJ0guIubMWxvLZinvizRkx-aHdFIlWfWJEkoQW8Nqwl7E89nMknQSzyIyHKCYH7s/s400/baby+028.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5369149444714124770" /></a>Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07146509627016621971noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-104265233809813222.post-88640599163914582182009-08-12T14:14:00.003-04:002009-08-12T14:36:09.111-04:00Three Months<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmsUq7Ssmc9tzclK1smVpxaZ_-tQGVHjPYTXj-qfnJTsHbxj9YArXPJvj_wVl4hEYt9-dDZmeMXOyqUK_XpII5ovlVVzeo8z0fdkbUjKLsskzekgv3HDActJI1Tzf7FtZP_GAcVRzLeP4/s1600-h/boca+024.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmsUq7Ssmc9tzclK1smVpxaZ_-tQGVHjPYTXj-qfnJTsHbxj9YArXPJvj_wVl4hEYt9-dDZmeMXOyqUK_XpII5ovlVVzeo8z0fdkbUjKLsskzekgv3HDActJI1Tzf7FtZP_GAcVRzLeP4/s400/boca+024.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5369147900465275922" /></a><br />Well it is hard to believe that three months has passed since we brought Chase home from the hospital. It has been a transition of sorts, going from being childless, to being responsible for a tiny infant. Overwhelmed (but grateful) is one word to accurately decribe the feelings that have been flowing through me, and it is just taking time for me to adjust. <br /><br />Chase is a good baby, peppered with bouts of restlessness and unquenchable hunger. He is two month's in the phote above, and I head meant to update this sooner, but well,,,I'm either exhausted or busy. I am still working a few hours a week , both teaching Pilates and baking, so that takes up whatever free time I have after the baby. <br /><br />My mother who is very ill , drove down from North Carolina to see the baby and spend a week. She is limited in what she can do, so us leaving her with the baby was not an option. It sometimes felt like I had two babies , since she is on oxygen and is so slow getting herself together. Most days we left the baby with Daddy and headed out. She especially liked the Deli we have close by , reminding her of all the NY food she cannot find close to her home in North Carolina. <br /><br />I am happy she made the effort to come see us, even though we would like to get up to see my brother and his family for a holiday this year. Hopefully it works out and we are able to travel.<br /><br />This has been thebusiest three months of my life but I am drinking it all in. Savoring each moment with the little guy. He is just too cute!Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07146509627016621971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-104265233809813222.post-92193576355386982009-06-28T13:01:00.002-04:002009-06-28T13:10:29.926-04:00Lucky MeI have to say I have had the great opportunity to have had contact with some wonderful people through this blog. The comments that most have left are wonderfully uplifting, supportive and generous. <br /><br />Chase is thriving, and he is a wonder. I am lucky. I do say lucky, given that all we had been through before had been so bad, that I had all but given up. <br />I am enjoying my time with him, getting to know him, and marking his milestones. I'm waiting for his first laugh. I love to laugh so that will be a great day. I will be his chief entertainer for a while so I am brushing up on my funny. <br /><br />He is big and gaining weight and loves to eat. I wish he was waiting a little longer between feedings thus allowing me to get a little more rest, but his Dad is stepping in when I need it, and he has been great. <br /><br />He has lost a little of the peach fuzz that adorned his head, and I eagerly await it's replacement. Will it be light or dark? Curly or straight? Will his eyes stay the color they are or darken more? Each day I scan him for changes, and noted today he looks a little like Buddha. Chubby and smiling. <br /><br />Every day he is here is better than the day before, and it is true that you don't realize the capacity in which your life is changed, simply by the introduction of another human into it, until your world is turned upside down in one day.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07146509627016621971noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-104265233809813222.post-193598200804179052009-06-26T18:36:00.002-04:002009-06-26T18:41:49.282-04:00Why is it....That some of the most religous people I know, are the ones who:<br /><br />May go to church, but talk about people behind their backs<br /><br />Spend the majority of their time quoting "What a sin?" when they are sinning all the time.<br /><br />Foster bad feelings<br /><br />Pass judgement<br /><br />Lie, Cheat and Steal<br /><br />And many other things, that are annoying. I'm not perfect, but if you are going to tout yourself as the second coming, and cram religon down my throat, the question remains:<br /><br />"Shouldn't you at least practice what you preach?"Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07146509627016621971noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-104265233809813222.post-50864001287931616382009-06-21T10:04:00.004-04:002009-06-21T10:11:22.152-04:00Update<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRaQxRqYgcYh50lvVUt3BVb2hImSyvvFCZV2POzFaK5Wh0faWePridctN3wM6dV2taM9z5hJxmaGA18W-sYc8Ah1kPsuMt4j3rdCrIE2rRuj6Jm_T-R6nGqkIWbkLxaVXYqbPox3unxVE/s1600-h/076.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRaQxRqYgcYh50lvVUt3BVb2hImSyvvFCZV2POzFaK5Wh0faWePridctN3wM6dV2taM9z5hJxmaGA18W-sYc8Ah1kPsuMt4j3rdCrIE2rRuj6Jm_T-R6nGqkIWbkLxaVXYqbPox3unxVE/s400/076.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5349782419097194498" /></a><br />Well, with numerous visitors strolling through our doors lately perhaps the nicest one for me was my sister coming out from California for a week.It was unexpected and so appreciated. <br /><br />I love her and miss her, and when they moved to California we drifted apart a bit, and it has been maddening trying to keep up and catch up all these years. Her kids are grown (almost), and I so cherished this time with her. We did the usual baby stuff, but she went above and beyond helping at night, while my husband and I were trying to catch up on sleep! I have a feeling that I'll be playing catch up for a very long time! <br /><br />Saying goodbye to her at the airport was very hard...I don't cry easily but I wanted to bawl my eyes out and yell, "Don't leave me!"<br /><br />Sad, that she is not closer. It was my best compliment yet when she said I was doing a great job. From a pro that means everything!Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07146509627016621971noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-104265233809813222.post-50847948748667601162009-06-16T13:05:00.002-04:002009-06-16T13:07:01.578-04:00Baby Love<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSUbN7wlXelhTXNjTV-SKhCPLALR4vIYSbstON_ucO-MaQ59_2YiRyk9OtbmJ-fSFAzPrIZMDgWjsswOgn1ZMb7JrY4t8VY5X_Z9foiYmFLRvHM5203GsrR63_L0qx_upIniJb9i7pQ2s/s1600-h/chase2.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5347972955934501554" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 97px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 130px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjSUbN7wlXelhTXNjTV-SKhCPLALR4vIYSbstON_ucO-MaQ59_2YiRyk9OtbmJ-fSFAzPrIZMDgWjsswOgn1ZMb7JrY4t8VY5X_Z9foiYmFLRvHM5203GsrR63_L0qx_upIniJb9i7pQ2s/s400/chase2.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div>Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07146509627016621971noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-104265233809813222.post-57824443299838335542009-06-13T12:00:00.002-04:002009-06-13T14:12:05.390-04:00Beautiful BoyIt's late. As I hold Chase, swaddled tight in a baby blue receiving blanket, I stare. His eyelashes faint <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">blond</span>, are starting to sprout, his cheeks pink and full ,and his chest rises and falls in a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">rhythmic</span> cadence. <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Occasionally</span> he twitches , then smiles, then gets back to the business of sleeping.<br /><br />He is a wonder. I think a lot about him while he is sleeping in my arms.<br /><br />Hoping that in my ability to mother I will let him be himself. That I will teach him, but not be demanding. That I will be able to foster his interest, consistently so that he will know the joy and comfort of routine and responsibility.<br /><br /> That I hope to guide him to be kind and loving to all things, including animals. ( Cause to me, if you are not an animal lover, sorry I don't trust you!) That he will know that in life to be successful is not dependant on money or materialistic things, and having those things is an <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">innate</span> gift, not a given.<br /><br />To show him that is always better to give than receive, and that the pleasures of small things, playing outside, going to the beach, the fascination of the outdoors and people and life is much better than sitting in front of the TV.<br /><br />I'd love him to live without fear or regret and that in living, learning to confront issues head on and deal with mistakes without faltering shows the true measure of a man. And that in confronting, or handing matters, doesn't have to be sticky or unpleasant if handled correctly. I will teach him to love and respect everyone, in the same manner in which he hopes to be treated.<br /><br />And I will let him know that is <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">OK</span> to be afraid, and unsure. And that we don't worry about things that we cannot control or change, or worry about the future.<br /><br />For me mothering is new. I have watched many of my peers become mothers. Some good, some not. I have watched with great detail my own mother and mothers around me, and out of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">all</span> of them, my mother did the best. She is <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">always</span> there in the background. She steps to the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">forefront</span> when needed, but is not overbearing and does not <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">inject</span> her presence unless it is asked for.<br />She ruled with an iron fist at home, and while sometimes she was scary, it was necessary. All three of us , never got into trouble. We <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">don't lie</span>, cheat or have personality issues. Not to say that we are perfect. We aren't. But so many of my friends mothers <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">simply</span> didn't care, or weren't there, or were weak. Parents cannot be weak! So I hope to be that kind of mother. I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">grew</span> up loving life. Looking for challenges and trying to better myself. I hope I can keep that up. <br /><br />After all the trials and tribulations the last <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">eight years</span>, it was had not to <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">become</span> cynical. Dealing with schemers and liars and people solely taking advantage of the system because they know they can, truly tested my faith in <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">humanity</span>. But as I sit and look at him and marvel at the joy of him .. he is ours. It was luck. I know that. After all he was originally intended to be placed with another family, who got a call about another baby across the country. He came early...thus making him available. Why we were chosen, I don't know exactly. But I am glad we were.<br /><br />He has given life a new meaning. And as cliched as it sounds, it makes me hopeful for the future.<br /><br />I will give him the foundation for which he builds his life.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07146509627016621971noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-104265233809813222.post-85779143270085702432009-06-06T10:57:00.002-04:002009-06-06T11:07:56.653-04:00Mommy?A title that I thought I would never own, bestowed upon me hastily, that in that time, I had little time <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">mysef</span> to reflect.<br /><br />My own mother is ill and cannot travel to see the baby. But I want her here. I would have loved to have her guiding me, empowering me. Honestly, I don't think my own mother wanted children. She did what was expected. She was a good mother, albeit a little scary at times, which was good I think. It kept us in check, and I always had a healthy fear of her. But after getting home, realizing that things would never be the same, I felt what many mother's probably feel. The innate ability to protect and to take care . Putting him first is my priority now.<br /><br />I still don't feel like a Mother. But I am working on instinct, and I am good with him. I have waited so long for the little moments, and I can't wait to replicate some of what my mother gave me. A love of books from being read to. A strong sense of self. And the ability to be compassionate for all things.<br /><br />I sit holding him, and smell his sweet smell, and talk to him, like he is old <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">enough</span> to understand.<br /><br />The dialogue is starting now.<br /><br />How he came to us, the story of his <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">birthmother</span>, the chase of a baby.<br /><br />He will know everything, as that is his right. I do not fear him wanting to find his first mother at some point. I expect it. And if he so chooses, I will guide him every step of the way in his search, bringing to close the circle of life, that finally brought me my son.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07146509627016621971noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-104265233809813222.post-69060349728947576122009-06-04T20:01:00.002-04:002009-06-04T20:02:16.105-04:00Chase Braden<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM9gKq18E_cWrXm5zxOgf2wgg65m3E73151ks9fcIOts-rfEVVFPnlv_5luaqwXCCRwkLm-79xtAKnzsLpeqFVCy7xgdzKR9kgUcLb6k23kJcYTT_Sqb7BrD5UDSn_3_jv7X3xcwi5umU/s1600-h/chase.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343627057349153362" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 300px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhM9gKq18E_cWrXm5zxOgf2wgg65m3E73151ks9fcIOts-rfEVVFPnlv_5luaqwXCCRwkLm-79xtAKnzsLpeqFVCy7xgdzKR9kgUcLb6k23kJcYTT_Sqb7BrD5UDSn_3_jv7X3xcwi5umU/s400/chase.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div></div>Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07146509627016621971noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-104265233809813222.post-60693683138151449722009-06-03T13:01:00.004-04:002009-06-05T17:24:44.387-04:00Rounding out the Adoption EventThe adoption that took place three weeks ago, still has to be finalized. Papers were signed but the adoption hearing, takes place about four months, after the fact. So while we ready for that, let me back up a bit and recall the many adventures I had while the process took place.<br /><br />Essentially my husband and I have only been separated for the last 16 years, once or twice. So going to a strange town, and then staying there by myself, was a gigantic leap of faith for me.<br /><p>I familiarized myself with the hospital setting (even tried to get into use the employee gym!) and got to know the nursing staff quite well. I was lucky enough to stay at the Ronald McDonald House right on hospital grounds. It was well equipped and run solely by volunteers. They provided a clean room and bed for ten dollars a night in exchange for light chores. I have to admit I did miss a TV in the room, but after a few days I was so tired, it didn't matter. I was able to walk to and from the hospital , and if the weather was bad, or it was late, hospital security ferried me back and forth. Doing chores after being in the NICU all day was really the last thing I wanted to do, but I tried to do it quickly and efficiently. </p>(Damn the person to hell who kept messing up the inside of the microwave!)<br /><br />The people for the most part who volunteered there were helpful and nice, one even helping me get my new babies car seat in the car. With no prior experience, the car seat thing became a whole other issue for me. But I have to say, if we are getting housing near a hospital for free, pick up after your damn self! Some people are just amazing. Leaving food out to spoil, (all donated by the way) all over the counter, dishes in the sink...I shudder to think what the inside of their house must look like! Every night another business or group donated dinner, which was not just sandwiches. The food ranged from Bar B Q to Soup to full three course meals. Ironically, I rarely ate there, not because I didn't want to, I was always in a rush to get back to the hospital.<br /><br />Readying to leave by 2:30 the staff kept me waiting till 4:30pm, which annoyed me. Reason? There was a delivery. Ummm, does every doctor on staff have to respond to a delivery? Apparantly , yes.<br /><br />The hospital, while they do a car seat test, for the length of your drive, will not help you secure the baby in any way after leaving the hospital. They hand you the baby and you place him in the restraint. Not thinking ahead and really we had little time to work on it, as I tried to get the car seat in an out, I was approached by a homeless man.<br /><br />South Florida has an abundance of homeless, and he came right up to me and asked me for money. Normally, I do give a few dollars. But that day, after having been at the hospital for ten days by myself, and struggling with the enormity of the adoption and the god forsaken car seat, I said"I'm sorry. I just adopted a baby and I don't have any money left." Not far from the truth actually. He turned and left, and left me there with the car seat.<br /><br />My days were long in the NICU. I usually got there a little after 8 am, just as the shift changed. I would sit next to the isolet, occasionally peering in, and then readying myself to do the temperature, and changing/feeding. He was a good baby from the beginning. Never crying too much. He would fuss a bit, but for the most part, he seemed content.<br /><br />After having been at the hospital for about a week, I got in the car and headed home for the weekend. I had cake to make and a few things to ready for my return trip home. I didn't want to leave him. And couldn't wait to get back to him. As I traveled across the state, I suppose I was speeding. yes, I know I was speeding but couldn't help it.<br /><br />I saw the lights and the patrol car, and could not believe I was getting pulled over. In all my years of driving (30 +)I have never gotten a speeding ticket! Till that day... I tried to explain that I was headed back to a hospital where my infant son was, but he did not care. He actually pulled me over after I had passed someone, so technically I didn't think it was fair. But I wasn't about to fight with him. I find that cops in general have little humor during a traffic stop, and the Florida kind are just more humor less than the average. Sorry. I mean while you are pulling me over would it kill you to be pleasant? I guess they have to assume that every stop is a potential problem. But, it would have been nice to have someone who could have understood my driving fast to get back to my son.<br /><br />A whole other myriad of problems cropped up, during my stay. My car battery died three times. Thankfully I had Triple AAA and they came out and changed the battery. And aside from my son not being in the car seat properly, as I was driving home by myself with the baby, I realized that my husband should have been with me. I drove for about 40 minutes, and pulled over. Thankfully I stopped when I did. The baby was slumped over in the car seat, just too little to fit in properly. I bolstered him up with diapers and blankets, and was able to secure him a bit better, but I really wanted to cry. I was so tired. Tired from the last eight years of hell, of the hospital, of everything. Except the baby.<br /><br />As I drove, I headed into what was potentially the worst storm I have ever driven in. Thunder, lightning and dark skies, enveloped the car as I headed East. Now I really wanted to cry. I kept thinking , how am I going to drive in this? I couldn't see..the rain was pelting the car sideways and the lighting was fierce. I thought, "Can I call 911?" "What do I do? "Where do I pull over?" And then I laughed, to myself. Because I knew if I called 911 crying, that I couldn't drive my newborn son in a rainstorm, that the call would end up on CNN an I would never live it down.<br /><br />So I ventured on. Going slow with my hazard lights on , stopping when I needed to. It took over five hours, but we made it.<br /><br />Pulling into the driveway. I felt empowered. After the last eight years.Getting to where we are now?I know I can do anything.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07146509627016621971noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-104265233809813222.post-41700187754649896092009-06-01T11:37:00.002-04:002009-06-01T12:34:33.925-04:00A Suprise and then a Miracle..As my last post stated, I had been in search of a miracle. No not the lottery although that would be nice, and I'd love to win. I wasn't looking for something <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">religous</span>, because here in South Florida I can find that on any street corner. People praying and overflowing with gods words, here in god's country..not that I have anything against it, I just <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">dont</span> want it crammed down my throat 24/7. My feelings and spiritual enlightening come from a place, that doesn't necessarily come from a church or from people talking about it, obsessing about it, or trying to convince me otherwise.<br /><br />After my conversation with the lawyer a week or two passed without any confirmation of the intended <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">birth mother</span> situation. I had again, started to lay those hopes and dreams aside and focus on what my life might be without a child. After all I had gone this long, without one.<br /><br />The days passed and on Wednesday afternoon I received a call at the Chicken Shop . It <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">was our</span> lawyer. She needed to speak asap and was I in a private place?<br /><br />I took the phone into the restroom where she began to tell me that a baby boy had been born that morning in *******, FL. Did we want him? I went blank, and then said "Let me talk to David" She rattled off some health information and information regarding the mother, and I hung up stunned. Now? Right now a baby? I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">asked</span> my husband to come sit at the table.<br /><br />"The lawyer called. There is a baby. It is a boy and he was born this morning. We would have to be there Friday, and someone has to stay three weeks. He is the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">NICU</span>. Born at 33 weeks. Do we want him? "We both stareda t each other in disbelief.<br /><br />We went over logistics. Who could stay? Who would run the business back home? It was decided we would go to the lawyer the next morning with our decision. As we thought about it, mulled it over..it was shocking that after chasing something for so long, it was being handed to us overnight. <br /><br />I called the birth mother that evening and we had a very nice, candid conversation She <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">wa</span>s not unlike the other <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">birth moms</span>, wounded, low self esteem, and no hope for the future. She wanted to do the right thing for him, to give him every opportunity that she herself could not. I thanked her, asked her if she needed anything. She declined anything and just said "Love him, and let him know that I loved him too. "<br /><br />We received an email from the lawyer with his picture sent via the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">birth</span> mom in the hospital. He was tiny, maybe four pounds, and was adorable. We were hooked from the moment we saw him.<br /><br />We made plans to go to the hospital on Friday which was a few hours away. On our way, we talked about many things. The failing economy, the weather, would make it on time, and we struggled to stay positive. This was after all, a placement where she still could change her mind. As we neared the facility, my husband was convinced that it would not happen. We park<span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">ed </span>the car and nervously held each others hands as we entered the hospital. He ran to the rest room, and then the phone rang. On the other end, I could hear <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">the social</span> workers voice.<br /><br />"Shes signing right now, stay where you are I'll come and get you". I smiled as I put the phone down. Just then my husband walked out of the rest room. He looked at me, and I said"She signed them". He got weak in the knees and went ghost white. I thought for a moment that he would pass out, but he steadied himself on the wall, and took a deep breath.<br /><br />One journey over. Another new one beginning.<br /><br />As we went upstairs to meet the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">birth mom</span>, we were in shock, disbelief. I saw her standing in the waiting room. She was waiting to meet us. She surveyed my husband and I both carefully and then reached out to hug me.<br /><br />Pulling back, she said"Do you want to meet your son? " Entering the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">NICU</span> is a process, and after checking in, and getting clearance, we scrubbed down much in the way a surgeon would before an operation. <br /><br />I went into the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">NICU</span> with her leading the way. We came upon a small incubator, and the little infant laying inside was pink , and calm. I peered in. I turned to her and thanked her. She said "Good luck with him", and walked out to get my husband. <br /><br />My husband came slowly down the isle and was looking <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">from</span> side to side. The noise level inside a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">NICU</span> is palpable, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">overwhelming</span> at first. He reached where I was standing and we both just looked into the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">isolet</span>.<br /><br />After years of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">disappointment</span> and despair, we had come full circle.<br /><br />Staring at our little boy...we couldn't help but think, that maybe in order for us to get what we truly wanted, we had to lose almost everything else in the process.<br /><br />May 13, 2009 our son was born, and on May 15, 2009 he became ours. <br /><br />We are forever grateful.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07146509627016621971noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-104265233809813222.post-46441726426618818822009-05-04T01:00:00.005-04:002009-06-01T11:37:14.643-04:00Arthritis and the MiracleMy <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">arthritis</span> is back.<br /><br />Were like old friends now, and my fear of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">being</span> alone has subsided because I always know I'll have it beside me every step of the way. I have to say it has enlightened me to live a more productive life when I can, getting a glimpse into my older years if you will, and while they are not pretty, it <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">does make</span> you slow down and see things from a different angle.<br /><br />Funny how when you are wishing on a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">miracle</span> ( which I was doing last week on Wednesday) the phone rang. It was the lawyer, asking me how we have been, blah, blah, blah. Then comes the speech ..<br /><br />"We have this <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">birthmother</span> situation".<br /><br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Ok</span>, I am using the term <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Birthmother</span> again, but too bad.<br /><br />Why do they call it a situation? Isn't it a total disregard for taking responsibility for oneself? Whatever.<br /><br />So there is a birth mother situation, and I'm listening, and the whole time I'm thinking to <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">myself</span>. I just stopped thinking about <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">all</span> of this. I just turned it off, and put it to bed, and here it is back again.<br />"She is such a great girl" <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">Ummm</span>, maybe, but I really don't care . Why do they think if they tell me how great she is that that will make me want to proceed? It does not. In fact it makes me want to pull my hair out and run screaming in the opposite direction.<br /><br />So I am <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">underwhelmed</span>. That was Wednesday. Saturday another lawyer's office called and they too have a "situation". Seems to be going around. This one I'm not at <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">all</span> interested in. Older couple, still together , not working , need money and they are saying they are giving a baby up, and I hope they follow through, but it won't be me on the other end. We already went through something like that, and if a couple is still together I <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">don't</span> care what they say, the inclination is going to be to keep the baby. Plus they are only eight weeks into the pregnancy and I think are just looking for a meal ticket.<br /><br />I just feel nothing. Things have been so hard with the new business, it is exhausting and right now I cannot imagine making it more difficult. I'm not sure what is happening given that I have not heard back from the lawyer.<br /><br />I'm sure they'll call when they want money.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07146509627016621971noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-104265233809813222.post-51373564441387803832009-04-29T09:06:00.003-04:002009-04-29T09:25:52.775-04:00U.S. Polo and the Ponies<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ4gxjn2rnbIiMgHOkK6So_124JcWjkBa6wFDv2tKeR9XUa1MQpN8XUXykF7f11uJ214qLx3qcRJYIFDYHS1lBdXAVixEPlIuvD6nQMNSa7549fE4LN3aVOKl0iKjykOqq5dX9GDZZDTk/s1600-h/polo+102.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5330103982248100274" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiQ4gxjn2rnbIiMgHOkK6So_124JcWjkBa6wFDv2tKeR9XUa1MQpN8XUXykF7f11uJ214qLx3qcRJYIFDYHS1lBdXAVixEPlIuvD6nQMNSa7549fE4LN3aVOKl0iKjykOqq5dX9GDZZDTk/s400/polo+102.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhThO4oS9Do_mxlNVaXJbR0qc7IYr7QbD-Iixjd4Ae7kle5R54-jKAaP3ALEvqqNSaJ7pNZOIKW0W0LaAHOpS3tq3a-JLPhhSTn1OhaZsNA1ZUWErh8It5PFKREiaRt5MymvVfhwIWi4ww/s1600-h/polo+040.JPG"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5330103753322209426" style="FLOAT: left; MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhThO4oS9Do_mxlNVaXJbR0qc7IYr7QbD-Iixjd4Ae7kle5R54-jKAaP3ALEvqqNSaJ7pNZOIKW0W0LaAHOpS3tq3a-JLPhhSTn1OhaZsNA1ZUWErh8It5PFKREiaRt5MymvVfhwIWi4ww/s400/polo+040.JPG" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div>My heart aches fort he 21 horses that died a week or so ago, in Wellington , Fl not far from where we are. A human error, it was senseless, and makes you stop and think.<br /><br />We decided to go to the last Polo match of the season, last Sunday. I was more than excited, and then even doubly s when a customer gave us tickets.<br /><br />Staring out at Jen and Kevin's house, we had a brunch of Champagne and a nectar of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">some kind</span> ( a <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Bellini</span> perhaps? ) and I made pork roll and cheese <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">sandwiches</span> for my friends ( A NJ delicacy)who had never had them, and we relaxed and chatted about our excitement to go to the match.<br /><br />As we arrived, you <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">could</span> hear the hooves pounding the sod, you could hear yelling and chatter, and the horses snorts and heavy breath from the activity. The sky was a bright blue, the sod so green, and the air was perfect. Not too hot, the sun was out and shining, but there was a lovely breeze blowing creating the perfect day.<br /><br />We sat and watched the earlier match at 11:00, and when each <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">chukker</span> (akin to a inning) was over , they riders and their ponies <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">would</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">leave</span> the field and everyone would step gingerly on the sod <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">and</span> then go around and pounce on the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">divits</span> that they horses hooves had created in the grass. As we stomped <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">divits</span> across the field we came across a rider, the one woman in the pack. She was riding a dark brown pony, and she seemed comfortable in her own skin on the horse and on the field.<br /><br />The horn blows signaling a return to play and we <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">hurriedly</span> crossed the field to the car where we were tailgating.<br /><br />Watching people eat and drink and relax watching on<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">e of</span> the most majestic sports to me was just heaven. My husband who fell asleep in the back of our friends SUV thought less so.<br /><br />The finals began at 3:00 with a parade of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">stunning</span> events: skydivers who looked so <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">thoroughly</span> off <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">their</span> mark that I thought they would be landing in the field down the street, jet airplanes, that looked <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">military</span> in nature but <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">I'm</span> not sure where they came from, and the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">pomp and</span> circumstance that is Palm Beach. Money and fancy cars and ladies with breasts abounding. Also there were a lot of older gents with younger gals, the norm for this area but to me it is <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">still</span> the creepiest thing I have seen.<br /><br />The "haves" as we called them, had little tents spread out, <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">and</span> champagne flowed from glass to glass, and the ladies were polished and wearing big brimmed hats. The men dapper in their suits and bow ties, this was old money from Palm Beach.<br /><br />It was interesting to people watch, and the match was quicker and more intense than the one we had previously watched.<br /><br />The day was glorious.<br /><br />When I was younger I wanted to be a jockey. And as I watched the ponies I couldnt help but feel a twinge of what could have been. I'm small , I'm strong and I think I could have been a good one.</div></div>Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07146509627016621971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-104265233809813222.post-84133411659756509642009-04-28T18:11:00.004-04:002009-04-28T18:32:59.729-04:00Been a WhileWell, weeks have passed since I have written, so I thought I would give a little time and attention to the blog that I so mothered and nurtured a long the way.<br /><br />Things have slowed on the baby front, and I have given up. I'm not pursuing it anymore, but that is not to say my husband isn't. My take on the whole thing has always been one of, if it was meant to happen it would, and it just hasn't. I'm tired of the chase. I'm tired of spending money, and I'm tired of the emotional rollercoaster.<br /><br />To say that I am in an easy part of my life would be a lie and I feel that there are many important decisions to be made over the next few months. When I look at life as a one shot deal, I'm not willing to compromise. I don't apologize for who I am at my age, and I am honest about my journey.<br /><br />I have not been feeling well, with my RA rearing its ugly head, and my fear has always been that I will eventually be alone and be sick and unable to care for myself. An ugly dream for sure that I hope does not come true.<br /><br />On top of which it has rendered me useless. I cannot walk, and had to get myself to the Dr and he drew 4 syringes of fluid out of the knee, and it was incredibly painful. Then I had an injection of medicine, and Prednisone and Darvocet.<br /><br />So I have been laid up on the couch most of the day which makes all the animals happy, but me and my husband miserable.<br /><br />Most people, when they think of RA, don't realize how debilitating it can be. Things can be fine, and then it swoops in and changes your plans, and smacks you between the eyes, and then I remember , I'm limited in what I can do.<br /><br />So, I wait. To feel better. And hopefully it comes sooner than later. The one upside is that I have no appetite, and I got my disabled parking tag. ( To be used at discretionary times of course) As the nurse said "If you are feeling fine, don't use it to go sprinting into a store!". Well said.<br /><br />After having been a patient there for four years, of which two I neglected to go, and then got yelled at because I had waited too long in between visits) The meds I am on are potent, and apparently I need to have my liver checked. Go figure!<br /><br />She entered the exam room to prep for the procedure and I felt bad because I can never remember her name! Karen, Candy..I don't know. She is probably 75 and wears fuchsia lipstick, (quite a look let me tell you) , she found me crying. I don't know why. People don't understand the illness, and some days I am fine, that is the paradox. And then the next day I am not and they don't understand. She was very comforting, putting her hand on mine, and saying in a motherly way that everything would be ok. In lieu of my own mother, who mostl ikely would not do that anyway, it was very nice to feel something from someone.<br /><br />To feel this bad at such a young age, it makes me want to scream and shake people when they sit around and eat, and complain and are fucking lazy, because they should be MOVING. All I would like to do at my age, is move freely without it in the back of my head that I could have a flareup. But I cannot.<br /><br />Money comes and goes<br />Friends come and go<br />We love our family but don't always like them<br />But when you have your health you have EVERYTHING.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07146509627016621971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-104265233809813222.post-64791994373903283512009-03-02T16:35:00.006-05:002009-03-09T22:23:17.793-04:00Friend or Foe?I have always for the most part, had a lot of men friends. I guess because of my early years in the gym, being completely surrounded by men, it was an easy and natural choice, to hang out with the other side so to speak.<br /><br />Sure I had a few women friends along the way, I would meet usually at work, and we would get close, but not too close. There have been a group of women I have let into my life. I can count on my hand the meaningful and satisfying relationships that have endured the test of time. And there have been two relationships I hold dear, that have lasted a lifetime. One I have known for 46 years, and the other probably for 36 or so years, each capturing a part of my life and my soul and I cherish the time I spent with both of them.<br /><br /><p>Some other friends whom I have reconnected with, and missed terribly while we were lost to one another, Peggy, Sandra, and some that I cannot locate...remain close to me, and I laugh out loud when I think of time spent with them. </p>I know I am not an easy person sometimes. I am very direct and to the point, and sometimes that makes people uncomfortable. So the friends I have, know that I will speak my mind, and they deal with it accordingly.<br /><br />There are another segment of friends that I met mostly at work, and sometimes it can be months that I don't hear anything, yet I am always happy to get an email or a call from them. I don't need the constant day to day attention, but it is nice to know they are there, and when we need one another we gravitate back to each other.<br /><br />But what happens, when one still wants to be friends and the other does not. It happened to me once in my lifetime, maybe twice, leaving me dumbfounded. I didn't understand it, until recently when I did the exact same thing to someone who had grown very close to me. I had an epiphany, as I walked away, nary a worked the the woman, who was left to wonder what happened. I never explained it, just went MIA for the last six months until she began to email me, after running into a few people I had seen. To be honest. I did miss her. And I was always thinking of her in some way ...but i had so much going on here , in my own little world, that I guess I just didn't have enough to go around. Things happened, things were said, and both sides were hurt. But it was her determination to not lose the friendship that stirred me. She apologized over and over, and I am hoping we can make amends. I apologized for hurting her, something I had not done , and to be honest I was just too tired to hold onto the anger anymore. I have had a lot of anger running through these veins, and I'm done. I cannot be angry, all the time. So I'm letting it go. Opening a window and letting it out to dissipate or attach itself to someone else. Whats the saying? "Time heals all wounds?"<br /><br />If I can forgive my father, certainly I can forgive a friend.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07146509627016621971noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-104265233809813222.post-33706176371440917252009-03-01T17:57:00.004-05:002009-03-01T21:38:33.746-05:00News BreakI am on a roll.<br /><br />I have called the Palm Beach Post, and I have written Good Morning America regarding our adoption story. I explained our experience in detail first, to a woman editor who deemed the story newsworthy. She then passed me on to an older gentleman ( and I use the word <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">loosely</span>) and he seemed to be on the fence.<br /><br />I made the connection between our surrogacy and the use of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">fertility</span> clinics and egg donors and how that would tie into the Natalie <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Sulomon</span> story..and the only good out of that woman having eight babies, will be the crackdown on fertility doctors and clinics alike. I told him of the adoption agency, using our money and not putting it in escrow. I explained the extortion and ridiculous things we have been through in order to get a baby. And I told him if he didn't do the story, that I would find someone who would. I am not taking no for an answer .<br /><br />I think instead of writing the head of the department of <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">legislature</span> that handles the adoption law, I will give them a call.<br /><br />The squeaky wheel gets the grease.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07146509627016621971noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-104265233809813222.post-35577417678958896762009-02-22T12:07:00.005-05:002009-02-22T16:10:16.521-05:00Mutiny and the Flea AssinationAfter spending hours containing all animals into a safe place in order to bomb the house with flea killer, I'm exhausted. It literally takes at least two hours each time, and well, not that I would, but I feel like dropping all animals off at Safe Harbor. The two oldest cats we have, were feral, and never quite lost that outdoorsy mentality. So today while cornered, I hat cats clawing and spitting at me, clearly very agitated. What to do? God help me if I have to do this again. We need to be out of the house for a few hours, and then we can go back to the hellish spot. I'm sure I will be cleaning all evening.<br /><br /><br />As for the baby thingy we have not heard from our attorney, and I am not surprised. ( Gosh when they want money they are relentless, when they have made two bad matches ...I hear nothing)<br /><br />So we are looking for a traditional surrogate. Perhaps we can find a nice person who will want nothing more than to help, given that our ability to compensate is dwindling. We are on our last leg of this long journey. Adoption I guess is over with...and I'm terribly disappointed that it didn't work out for us. The stress and strain this puts on any family, any relationship, it is a wonder that any can survive the relentless sadness. I did call the newspaper the other day, and told my story to an editor and I am hoping they deem it worthy of print. We will see.<br /><br />In the meantime, I am focused again on cake, and fleas.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07146509627016621971noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-104265233809813222.post-15774646386154403212009-02-13T16:17:00.004-05:002009-02-13T17:40:23.748-05:00Takes the Cake!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcKp5kI4tiXeVZ4nhlryVaj59jT6nbIvU2nibWwH03GpRL7pazu8GBxcLALnu-lyygVZeoA1-2ORdwepdPxKGGW4VDamwzksI2DapXWCDgpMysvx9BpDBzokbfJBHBjz9D0UXE-WpGM98/s1600-h/sc1274b5ba.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 316px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjcKp5kI4tiXeVZ4nhlryVaj59jT6nbIvU2nibWwH03GpRL7pazu8GBxcLALnu-lyygVZeoA1-2ORdwepdPxKGGW4VDamwzksI2DapXWCDgpMysvx9BpDBzokbfJBHBjz9D0UXE-WpGM98/s400/sc1274b5ba.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5302414343148310242" /></a><br /><div>A week or so ago, we got a call from the PB Post, saying they were reviewing Big Daddy's. It isn't our first review. We have had a few, luckily all of them good. But as I tell my husband, one eatery cannot be all things to all people. We do our very best to be friendly, attentive and to put out good food. Nothing more, nothing less.<br /><br />The restaurant reviewer called to say he was giving us another good review, and could they come by and get some photos. Last Friday I posed for photos feeling a little ridiculous, but getting them done, feeling a bit exhausted afterwards. All that smiling, and I have a full belly. I wondered to myself how some of the stick thin models make it through a day of posing with nothing more than a cup of coffee and cigarettes, to keep them going.<br /><br />I was told the article would run in a week or so on Friday. Wednesday morning as I reluctantly prepared for my friend's brother's funeral, I got a call from our chef saying someone was at the restaurant, with my picture and a picture of the cake.<br /><br />It didn't dawn on me that they had run the article early, and it was mostly about the cake! So, scraping together cake I had ready to go, it sold out within the hour. We sold out twice more that day.<br /><br />I rushed back after the funeral to prepare more, and made the last one of the day. People were lining up for it. Keep in mind that this is a day and a half process!</div><div><br />I am appreciative of all the notoriety, and the attention it has brought the restaurant.<br /><br />Here's hoping people come back for more.<br /></div>Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07146509627016621971noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-104265233809813222.post-57018191361431445192009-02-12T20:07:00.003-05:002009-02-12T20:24:03.827-05:00Life is a highway...1st Babymama + 2nd Babymama + 3rd Babymama= No babies for us!As I was driving to the get together after the funeral I got a call from my lawyer. A little irate that I had not returned her two call s from the day before.<br /><br />Excuse me, I was attending to a heartbroken friend and a burgeoning business.<br /><br />Her news- Babymama #3 had changed her mind. I laughed out loud. And immediately thought how great it felt that I had not given the girl the expense money of $950.00. This time I told the lawyer "No".<br /><br />I explained, that since I am trying to recoup funds from the previous agency, (which said they would send me $1000 every few weeks), I thought great, I don't have to put any money out of pocket!<br /><br />This time, the lawyer put the money out. The lawyer bought her a cell phone.<br /><br />When she called to tell me they had changed their mind, I said"How does it feel to know your not getting that back?"<br /><br />I think our relationship is strained at this point, with them offering now to find us a Safe Harbor Baby, one that someone drops off at a local hospital. I guess she forgot we paid her to match us, so as far as I'm concerned they can give us our money back, or continue to look for a baby.<br /><br />After contacting the social worker, she told me that the birth father's mother called wanting to know what was a dissolution of his rights was. I had asked for a sign of good faith, so that I would feel more comfortable dispensing money. Initally last week he said he would sign it, no questions. Then they asked can the birth mother stil change her mind ? They were informed that in the state of Florida the birthmother has 24-48 hours after the birth to change her mind. Then they asked if he signs this paperwork, can they still get the expense money????<br /><br />Another sham.<br /><br />Tomorrow I am calling our local newspaper. <br /><br />I'm done being screwed with.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07146509627016621971noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-104265233809813222.post-61970567673879480412009-02-12T19:47:00.003-05:002009-02-12T20:05:42.351-05:00Death & DyingToday as I was driving along 95 South, in sunny Florida, I was deep in thought. No radio, just me. There weren't too many cars on the road, which makes me happy, given at anytime you venture on 95 you literally take your life in your hands each and every time. Undocumented drivers, lousy drivers, blind drivers ( now I know they aren't really blind but they appear to be given the near mishaps I have had, staying in my own lane!)<br /><br />I was pondering death since I had just been to what had to have been the saddest funeral service I have been to. And I haven't been too many. Each that I have been to, I remember definitively. What I wore, what was said, what the occurrence was.<br /><br />So after seeing this service, I decided that should I die, be right here in print for people these are my last and final requests.<br /><br />1. No crying. I don't care how sad the circumstance. When one person cries it makes everyone else cry and really life is too short to cry, dammit!<br />( I understand there will be sadness, but go for a run or something, I swear you will feel better!) <br />2. No sad music. I would like the following music played: The Partridge Family. And some disco, & music from the 70's. That music always makes me happy. I do love the Carpenters but again, too sad!<br />3. Dress, in something comfortable. Id love everyone to show up in gym clothes. For god's sake it is a crappy day, why make it worse by wearing pants you only wear for funerals?<br />4. Serve some snacks and have a slide show. Kind of like the drive in, but not.<br />5. People could recount stories, memories..that would be nice.<br />6. Since I' m not very religious, I really don't want too much, if any thrown in there. Sorry, I don't relate. I don't want scripture quoted. I don't want verses read. Maybe some inspirational quotes. They would be nice.<br />7. I'd like to have it at the beach. Given I'd be cremated it should be easy to carry me there.<br />8. I'll leave it to those left behind to figure out what to do with the ashes.<br /><br />Haven't I planned enough?Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07146509627016621971noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-104265233809813222.post-71980410152102077052009-02-11T07:54:00.006-05:002009-02-11T08:29:15.738-05:00The Flea PatrolI am on a hell raising trip, through my own house. Fleas are on the loose, and Ii is causing me to slowly loose my mind.<br /><br />To try and pinpoint <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">when this</span> historic even took place, I would have to go back a month or so to December 31st and New Years Eve. <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Baxter</span> went to the kennel like any other trip. He enjoyed his time there, although the way he eats and drinks when he arrives back would leave me to <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">believe</span> he is a bit sullen with a poor appetite while he is there but when I ask they <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">smile</span> and say "Oh he was great!" "He ate everything!" Somehow I know this not to be true.<br /><br />He is not a dog like others. He doesn't like peanut butter, he doesn't like rawhide, he won't eat Pigs ears, or any other dog type treat. He doesn't even eat cat poop, which my other dogs used to find to be a delicacy.<br /><br />He will only eat for me. He is so my dog, that before I leave for the day, he sticks his nose <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">in the</span> crook of my next and inhales so deeply I think he is taking some skin with him. He exhales slowly and his eyes close. He is can relax after smelling me.<br /><br />But he has never had fleas. Not one. Until this trip. Of course being saturated with work at every corner of my life, I am slow to notice. A few weeks go by, and I see everyone <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">scratching</span>. Cats and dog alike.<br /><br />Still, I don't make the connection. (I'll admit I can be a little slow at times- took me till the fifth grade <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">to learn</span> to tell time!) Don't laugh, numbers are <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">just</span> not my thing.<br /><br />So imagine my <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">surprise</span> when I get <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">ambitious</span> after work last week and bathe the dog.<br />What I found was a small city of fleas to rival India living on his underbelly. Upon further investigation, I realized <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">that</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_11">all</span> four cats have them as well, little mini <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_12">cities</span> living on them, like parasitic freeloaders.<br /><br />After the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_13">initial</span> shock, I went to investigate. On the computer, I read a lot about fleas. And I realized <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_14">whatever</span> free time I had left, was now gone.<br /><br />I cleaned <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_15">vigorously</span>. <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_16">Everything</span> from couched to baseboards to the animals themselves. And still they are here.<br /><br />Next step is a nuclear assault on the suckers (literally!) without killing <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_17">aforementioned</span> pets. I have my spray. I have <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_18">Frontline</span> that my vet wanted to charge me almost $100 for each pet. May you die, you money grubbing bastard. I have another little pill that kills fleas on contact, and I have the ultimate weapon a new <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_19">vacuum</span>.<br /><br />You would have thought I just got a Gucci purse. That is how happy I am with the <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_20">vacuum</span>. And it's not even a Dyson. Will not pay $500 for household tool no matter how many people tell me its great, unless it could cook and clean and I could get some other <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_21">satisfaction</span> from it.<br /><br />D Day is just around the corner.Lisahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07146509627016621971noreply@blogger.com2