The Flea Patrol

I am on a hell raising trip, through my own house. Fleas are on the loose, and Ii is causing me to slowly loose my mind.

To try and pinpoint when this historic even took place, I would have to go back a month or so to December 31st and New Years Eve. Baxter went to the kennel like any other trip. He enjoyed his time there, although the way he eats and drinks when he arrives back would leave me to believe he is a bit sullen with a poor appetite while he is there but when I ask they smile and say "Oh he was great!" "He ate everything!" Somehow I know this not to be true.

He is not a dog like others. He doesn't like peanut butter, he doesn't like rawhide, he won't eat Pigs ears, or any other dog type treat. He doesn't even eat cat poop, which my other dogs used to find to be a delicacy.

He will only eat for me. He is so my dog, that before I leave for the day, he sticks his nose in the crook of my next and inhales so deeply I think he is taking some skin with him. He exhales slowly and his eyes close. He is can relax after smelling me.

But he has never had fleas. Not one. Until this trip. Of course being saturated with work at every corner of my life, I am slow to notice. A few weeks go by, and I see everyone scratching. Cats and dog alike.

Still, I don't make the connection. (I'll admit I can be a little slow at times- took me till the fifth grade to learn to tell time!) Don't laugh, numbers are just not my thing.

So imagine my surprise when I get ambitious after work last week and bathe the dog.
What I found was a small city of fleas to rival India living on his underbelly. Upon further investigation, I realized that all four cats have them as well, little mini cities living on them, like parasitic freeloaders.

After the initial shock, I went to investigate. On the computer, I read a lot about fleas. And I realized whatever free time I had left, was now gone.

I cleaned vigorously. Everything from couched to baseboards to the animals themselves. And still they are here.

Next step is a nuclear assault on the suckers (literally!) without killing aforementioned pets. I have my spray. I have Frontline that my vet wanted to charge me almost $100 for each pet. May you die, you money grubbing bastard. I have another little pill that kills fleas on contact, and I have the ultimate weapon a new vacuum.

You would have thought I just got a Gucci purse. That is how happy I am with the vacuum. And it's not even a Dyson. Will not pay $500 for household tool no matter how many people tell me its great, unless it could cook and clean and I could get some other satisfaction from it.

D Day is just around the corner.