Now Serving: A Heaping Plate of Bitter, served with a smarmy side of "I told you so"

Well for the first time in about a week, my husband and I had a laugh.

A big belly laugh about a stock we hesitantly purchased a few days ago, and violently tried to sell today amid all kinds of verbiage coming from the stock representatives mouth. "Bid" Ask" and market price were being tossed around like a juggler manhandling his wares, and since my husband and I have relatively no trading experience all we wanted to find out was when the stock hit the "price at which we wanted to sell, why didn't it sell"? Turns out the bid price is the price the stock needs to hit before it will sell, and well, it got a bit confusing when i was on the phone with Mr. Stock trader explaining it, and my husband yelling, "I just wanted to make 200 dollars!" As I'm hushing my husband, I'm laughing into the phone saying to the stock man, "Hey we just wanna sell it when it get to this price!" Mr Stock man said , amid hearing all the ranting and raving from my husband said... "Wow it sounds crazy there.., and I said"You think this is bad, yesterday it was like the movie Wall Street in here, SELL, SELL SELL!

I should know all this after taking my Series Six Exam about ten years ago, which I needed a tutor for mind you and I still failed) That was traumatizing. But not nearly as traumatizing as being so close to getting a baby, and having it vanish right before our eyes.

Another lawyer contacted us about a bi-racial baby but after reading her information, the firm would get a retainer of $2500.00 the birthmom gets $5100.00 and the actual adoption costs $20,000.00 save any additional UNFORESEEN expenses.

What I want to know is where does the 20 grand go?. Does the birth mom get it? Do the lawyers take it and go on a nice trip? Do they put it back into the system? Plus, if we signed and the birthmother "disrupted the process" as she called it , we would only get ten thousand back!

I told her, I didn't understand.....and we would pass. After all we already have $20,000.00 out on the street right now...with little chance of getting it back.

We did get a call from our attorney. She said that they had worked out a payment plan for the Babymama, to pay us back. I'm hoping that includes all the time the social worker needed to spend "counseling" her. Since the counseling did not work, I am wanting her to reimburse us.

I'd really like to sue her for emotional distress, too. But they are saying I can't. I wonder. Can't because I wouldn't win? Or because I just can't? Why shouldn't I be able to? She is an adult, and knew what we had previously been through...Shame on her.

I'm going to be googling that. As well as my council man, the state department and anyone else
I can to take a look at this nasty little business of brokering babies.

I have been having vivid baby dreams...all turning out not so great when I wake up. I, as an adult realize it is not nice to wish someone ill will, dying, death, dismemberment...but I would really like to pack up my husband' s trailer with all the baby crap and run her over with it.

Sorry, I just do.

I am not a lunatic...I'm just sad.