Mother fu**er!

Ok, I lied.

This isn't getting any easier. In fact, it sucks way more than it did even a few days ago, because the longer we are on this cruel and unusual ride, the more I realize we may not make it off.

I get up and try to be positive and try to be happy and try to be a forward thinker. Meaning that since our opportunity has vanished and gone, I think of it as burned ashes, and well, you can't reburn ashes that have already been burned. What is the use? So I try and move on, move forward.

But the fact is ...I am still angry at this girl, at the agencies, the lawyers, all the people who turned finding children a home into a motherfucking business. The priority should be the CHILD. The MOTHER? They got themselves into a bad situation. And I feel bad for them about that.
But why the hell should I foot the bill for computers, rent, utilities, clothing,. food and other expenses when the primary factor should be the unborn child. This has turned ugly and really? Some of these girls "double dip", signing with two agencies and getting money from both knowing full well they will not even place the baby at the end...

How can I give a shit about the birth mother, when I am being extorted!

Someone needs to reevaluate the laws governing adoption, and make it clear, that expenses are what is deemed "medically necessary" for the well being of the unborn child - not so that the babmamas out here can get as much swag as an Oscar presenter!

I am calling my representative, and will go to the State Government office if I have to, to get someone to recognize what is happening. It is bullshit.

One of the things my lawyer said was "Oh the best thing you will be able to tell this baby, is that you helped her mother"....

"Yeah....I helped her empty seven thousand dollars out of my bank account".