Let's Be Clear

I suppose if one wanted to go off on tangent, one could get critical about the terminology used herein. Given that I do not make these words up "Birth Mom , Birth Dad, etc.. . and the like...they have been utilized by more than one professional in this arena. Attorney's and social workers alike, even Dr.s involved that we have been dealing with, throughout this horrific process, have at one time or another used all of the above.

I am not being disrespectful. I am using terminolgolgy that has been presented to us in legal documents. And while we are on the subject of respect, I don't see anyone clamoring about my rights to be called anything other than what we are at this point: adoptive parents, intended parents, or cash cows for that matter. That is exactly what we are.

So for those offended by my insensitivity to the birth mother, excuse me for not being more sensitive to HER, but after two failed or disrupted (another legal term) adoptions, and paying thousands of dollars for nothing, (that I will not get back) I'm calling it what it is at this point. Disrespect? Never. I have never disrespected the girls or young women who promise to place and then change their mind. It is their legal right. But at the same time, no one is worried about being insensitive to us.

If you have adopted through this process, and have had an adoption go wrong, than you will feel my pain, and understand the agony and devastation that has enveloped my husband and myself. You will understand the bitterness and the sarcasm, and realize that my pain is woven throughout this blog, in quiet desperation of not knowing where or when or if this will ever happen.

If you have adopted and had everything go as planned, shame on you, for making accusations, and assuming you know anything about this. If you think I am being disrespectful, I am sorry for that, but I am calling it what it is. If an attorney sits in front of me and introduces the young girl "Wanda, the birth mother", and you do not like that I'm not calling her the Parent..maybe it's you that is being sensitive.

Perhaps you would prefer prospective birth mother, birth father, adoptive mother, adoptive father...whatever. After years of disappointment, I am exhausted, and I am sorry I am not calling people by their proper titles.

P.S. Terminology (including but not limited to BabyMama, (also a major motion picture) and BabyDaddy) and attitude, sprinkled with a little bit of bitterness used in each posting, after each failed placement throughout this blog, can be defined as "sarcasm". Get out a dictionary.