Friend or Foe?

I have always for the most part, had a lot of men friends. I guess because of my early years in the gym, being completely surrounded by men, it was an easy and natural choice, to hang out with the other side so to speak.

Sure I had a few women friends along the way, I would meet usually at work, and we would get close, but not too close. There have been a group of women I have let into my life. I can count on my hand the meaningful and satisfying relationships that have endured the test of time. And there have been two relationships I hold dear, that have lasted a lifetime. One I have known for 46 years, and the other probably for 36 or so years, each capturing a part of my life and my soul and I cherish the time I spent with both of them.

Some other friends whom I have reconnected with, and missed terribly while we were lost to one another, Peggy, Sandra, and some that I cannot locate...remain close to me, and I laugh out loud when I think of time spent with them.

I know I am not an easy person sometimes. I am very direct and to the point, and sometimes that makes people uncomfortable. So the friends I have, know that I will speak my mind, and they deal with it accordingly.

There are another segment of friends that I met mostly at work, and sometimes it can be months that I don't hear anything, yet I am always happy to get an email or a call from them. I don't need the constant day to day attention, but it is nice to know they are there, and when we need one another we gravitate back to each other.

But what happens, when one still wants to be friends and the other does not. It happened to me once in my lifetime, maybe twice, leaving me dumbfounded. I didn't understand it, until recently when I did the exact same thing to someone who had grown very close to me. I had an epiphany, as I walked away, nary a worked the the woman, who was left to wonder what happened. I never explained it, just went MIA for the last six months until she began to email me, after running into a few people I had seen. To be honest. I did miss her. And I was always thinking of her in some way ...but i had so much going on here , in my own little world, that I guess I just didn't have enough to go around. Things happened, things were said, and both sides were hurt. But it was her determination to not lose the friendship that stirred me. She apologized over and over, and I am hoping we can make amends. I apologized for hurting her, something I had not done , and to be honest I was just too tired to hold onto the anger anymore. I have had a lot of anger running through these veins, and I'm done. I cannot be angry, all the time. So I'm letting it go. Opening a window and letting it out to dissipate or attach itself to someone else. Whats the saying? "Time heals all wounds?"

If I can forgive my father, certainly I can forgive a friend.