Rounding out the Adoption Event

The adoption that took place three weeks ago, still has to be finalized. Papers were signed but the adoption hearing, takes place about four months, after the fact. So while we ready for that, let me back up a bit and recall the many adventures I had while the process took place.

Essentially my husband and I have only been separated for the last 16 years, once or twice. So going to a strange town, and then staying there by myself, was a gigantic leap of faith for me.

I familiarized myself with the hospital setting (even tried to get into use the employee gym!) and got to know the nursing staff quite well. I was lucky enough to stay at the Ronald McDonald House right on hospital grounds. It was well equipped and run solely by volunteers. They provided a clean room and bed for ten dollars a night in exchange for light chores. I have to admit I did miss a TV in the room, but after a few days I was so tired, it didn't matter. I was able to walk to and from the hospital , and if the weather was bad, or it was late, hospital security ferried me back and forth. Doing chores after being in the NICU all day was really the last thing I wanted to do, but I tried to do it quickly and efficiently.

(Damn the person to hell who kept messing up the inside of the microwave!)

The people for the most part who volunteered there were helpful and nice, one even helping me get my new babies car seat in the car. With no prior experience, the car seat thing became a whole other issue for me. But I have to say, if we are getting housing near a hospital for free, pick up after your damn self! Some people are just amazing. Leaving food out to spoil, (all donated by the way) all over the counter, dishes in the sink...I shudder to think what the inside of their house must look like! Every night another business or group donated dinner, which was not just sandwiches. The food ranged from Bar B Q to Soup to full three course meals. Ironically, I rarely ate there, not because I didn't want to, I was always in a rush to get back to the hospital.

Readying to leave by 2:30 the staff kept me waiting till 4:30pm, which annoyed me. Reason? There was a delivery. Ummm, does every doctor on staff have to respond to a delivery? Apparantly , yes.

The hospital, while they do a car seat test, for the length of your drive, will not help you secure the baby in any way after leaving the hospital. They hand you the baby and you place him in the restraint. Not thinking ahead and really we had little time to work on it, as I tried to get the car seat in an out, I was approached by a homeless man.

South Florida has an abundance of homeless, and he came right up to me and asked me for money. Normally, I do give a few dollars. But that day, after having been at the hospital for ten days by myself, and struggling with the enormity of the adoption and the god forsaken car seat, I said"I'm sorry. I just adopted a baby and I don't have any money left." Not far from the truth actually. He turned and left, and left me there with the car seat.

My days were long in the NICU. I usually got there a little after 8 am, just as the shift changed. I would sit next to the isolet, occasionally peering in, and then readying myself to do the temperature, and changing/feeding. He was a good baby from the beginning. Never crying too much. He would fuss a bit, but for the most part, he seemed content.

After having been at the hospital for about a week, I got in the car and headed home for the weekend. I had cake to make and a few things to ready for my return trip home. I didn't want to leave him. And couldn't wait to get back to him. As I traveled across the state, I suppose I was speeding. yes, I know I was speeding but couldn't help it.

I saw the lights and the patrol car, and could not believe I was getting pulled over. In all my years of driving (30 +)I have never gotten a speeding ticket! Till that day... I tried to explain that I was headed back to a hospital where my infant son was, but he did not care. He actually pulled me over after I had passed someone, so technically I didn't think it was fair. But I wasn't about to fight with him. I find that cops in general have little humor during a traffic stop, and the Florida kind are just more humor less than the average. Sorry. I mean while you are pulling me over would it kill you to be pleasant? I guess they have to assume that every stop is a potential problem. But, it would have been nice to have someone who could have understood my driving fast to get back to my son.

A whole other myriad of problems cropped up, during my stay. My car battery died three times. Thankfully I had Triple AAA and they came out and changed the battery. And aside from my son not being in the car seat properly, as I was driving home by myself with the baby, I realized that my husband should have been with me. I drove for about 40 minutes, and pulled over. Thankfully I stopped when I did. The baby was slumped over in the car seat, just too little to fit in properly. I bolstered him up with diapers and blankets, and was able to secure him a bit better, but I really wanted to cry. I was so tired. Tired from the last eight years of hell, of the hospital, of everything. Except the baby.

As I drove, I headed into what was potentially the worst storm I have ever driven in. Thunder, lightning and dark skies, enveloped the car as I headed East. Now I really wanted to cry. I kept thinking , how am I going to drive in this? I couldn't see..the rain was pelting the car sideways and the lighting was fierce. I thought, "Can I call 911?" "What do I do? "Where do I pull over?" And then I laughed, to myself. Because I knew if I called 911 crying, that I couldn't drive my newborn son in a rainstorm, that the call would end up on CNN an I would never live it down.

So I ventured on. Going slow with my hazard lights on , stopping when I needed to. It took over five hours, but we made it.

Pulling into the driveway. I felt empowered. After the last eight years.Getting to where we are now?I know I can do anything.