Arthritis and the Miracle

My arthritis is back.

Were like old friends now, and my fear of being alone has subsided because I always know I'll have it beside me every step of the way. I have to say it has enlightened me to live a more productive life when I can, getting a glimpse into my older years if you will, and while they are not pretty, it does make you slow down and see things from a different angle.

Funny how when you are wishing on a miracle ( which I was doing last week on Wednesday) the phone rang. It was the lawyer, asking me how we have been, blah, blah, blah. Then comes the speech ..

"We have this birthmother situation".

Ok, I am using the term Birthmother again, but too bad.

Why do they call it a situation? Isn't it a total disregard for taking responsibility for oneself? Whatever.

So there is a birth mother situation, and I'm listening, and the whole time I'm thinking to myself. I just stopped thinking about all of this. I just turned it off, and put it to bed, and here it is back again.
"She is such a great girl" Ummm, maybe, but I really don't care . Why do they think if they tell me how great she is that that will make me want to proceed? It does not. In fact it makes me want to pull my hair out and run screaming in the opposite direction.

So I am underwhelmed. That was Wednesday. Saturday another lawyer's office called and they too have a "situation". Seems to be going around. This one I'm not at all interested in. Older couple, still together , not working , need money and they are saying they are giving a baby up, and I hope they follow through, but it won't be me on the other end. We already went through something like that, and if a couple is still together I don't care what they say, the inclination is going to be to keep the baby. Plus they are only eight weeks into the pregnancy and I think are just looking for a meal ticket.

I just feel nothing. Things have been so hard with the new business, it is exhausting and right now I cannot imagine making it more difficult. I'm not sure what is happening given that I have not heard back from the lawyer.

I'm sure they'll call when they want money.